Wednesday Words
Original version : Allow myself to remember The things I try so hard to forget The way you smelled And the way you’d touch my hand The fondest memories I recall The warm fuzzy feelings And the way I’d smile When I picture your face -vs- New version: Allow myself to remember The things I try so hard to forget Like the way you’d get so excited On a warm summer evening And I still hear your voice Echoing in my head Whispering all those words I wish you had never said
I don’t know if the new version is better than the old version but it ranks higher simply because it isn’t the old version. “The way you smelled” is a bad line. Sure, there are some sensory memory emotions loaded into that line but it’s inherently dumb. The new verse feels better.