Geriatric Cat

Our cat is old. She’s been roaming our house for almost 18 years. At this stage in her life, she spends a lot of time sleeping in our bed. It’s fine, she has earned this rest. The problem is that the bed is upstairs and her food is downstairs. The stairs have become difficult for her. She doesn’t have a problem coming down when she is hungry but she isn’t motivated enough to go back up on her own. She sits at the bottom of the steps and meows incessantly. She only stops when she makes me so crazy that I break down and carry her up the stairs. “Her Majesty” has me well trained. The real problem is that her litter box is two flights down to the basement. That’s not nearly as motivating as food. Hannah suggested that we should start a business manufacturing cat-sized stair lifts. I can’t get mad because someday I will be so old that I spend all day in bed and accidentally poop on the floor.

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