Lyrics


When the visitors come from outer space
Will they find anyone left of the human race
Will we all be destroyed by an evil pandemic
Because our fussing and fighting is so systemic
Republicans versus Democrats, the virus doesn’t care
Lock-downers versus opener-uppers, the virus doesn’t care
The richest among us, they are holed up with their maids
While the weak and the old wheeze away their last days
Scratching and clawing, we want to control what we don’t know
It’s got to be my way or the highway, I don’t want to end up alone
Instead of the problem, we fight each other, it’s an enemy we understand
I gotta have what’s mine and damn my fellow man
When the visitors come from outer space
Will they find anyone left in the human race

Well Judy Garland, she died on the toilet
From an alleged drug overdose
And Elvis, the king, he died on the toilet
For him it was a heart attack
Arius of Constantinople, he died on the toilet
Ironically it was explosive diarrhea 
King Edmund II, he died on the toilet
They stabbed him with a knife
Wenceslaus III was also stabbed on the toilet
Except they got that boy with a spear
Catherine the Great, she died on the toilet 
Except for her it was a stroke
That guy in Jurassic Park, he also died on the toilet
For him it was the T-Rex
When I die, there’s lots of places that I could be
There’s at least one place I know I don’t want to be
I don’t want to die sitting on the toilet
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
I could die in my sleep 
When I’m a real old man
I could die speeding down the road
In a ‘79 Trans-Am
I just don’t want to go
While I’m sitting where I go
I just don’t want to die
Sitting on the throne
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
I could die at your birthday party
Choking on a piece of cake
I could die from a snake bite
A real live poisonous snake
I just don’t want to go
While I’m sitting where I go
I just don’t want to die
Sitting on the can
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
I could die tortured and flayed
By a psychopath on the loose
I could die, trampled
By a heard of angry moose
I just don’t want to go
While I’m sitting where I go
I just don’t want to die
Sitting on the john
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
It’s Friday night, I’m on the hooch again
I promised myself I’d stay sober today
I put on my cleanest shirt and I comb my hair
I’m headed out for a couple of beers
It’s a dollar in the old jukebox
Something to occupy my time
There’s an old whiskey bottle over the fridge
That I keep my Jesus in
When I’m feeling bad or down on my luck
I take a big swig and swallow him up
This is my saving grace
It holds me tight
When Jesus walked here on Earth
He turned water into wine
I bet he was, he was a hell of a wine maker
If he was here, I’d cry him a bucket of tears
Like in the Bible, I perform a miracle
It’s a miracle I got up today at all
There’s an old whiskey bottle over the fridge
That I keep my Jesus in 
When I’m feeling bad or down on my luck
I take a big swig and swallow him up
This is my saving grace
It holds my tight
I’m tired of looking through blood shot windows
And trying to cut through the haze
You can throw me out, throw me out with the old bath water
I ain’t no good to anyone anymore
Someday, I’ll smash that bottle 
And set my savior free

On the day I was born
Wiped the blood from my brow
Shook that doctor’s hand
Wah, wah, wah
I made a deal
Living ain’t cheap
But it’s all smooth sailing
Now, now, now
I crossed on over
From the other side
Kicked up my heels
Ha, ha, ha
Wake up in the morning
And I rub my eyes
Stretch real big
And whistle at the sky
Wake up in the morning
And I rub my eyes
Stretch real big 
And whistle at the sky
On the day you were born
I wiped the blood from your brow
Shook the doctor’s hand
Wah, wah, wah
The birth canal 
Passes right through
The valley of the shadow of
Me, oh, my
To get here, kid
You had to break some rules
Breathe real deep
Huh, huh, huh
Wake up in the morning
And you rub your eyes
Stretch real big
And whistle at the sky
Wake up in the morning
And you rub your eyes
Stretch real big 
And whistle at the sky
On the day we were born
We all cheated death
Shake the reaper’s hand
Ha, ha, ha

watch the one minute version

Call it what you will
Knowing for sure or just being scared
I’ve been through it all
I’m out of excuses 
I guess it’s time
I can see in you 
You believe in me
Loyalty is everything
I know I’ll be loyal
I want to spend my life 
Learning how to make you happy
I want to spend my life 
Just holding you
Only one thing left to do
All I know is what my heart desires
My heart desires you
All I want is you
Will you

Turn off the television, it’s all bad news
It’s just your local weather report and other half truths
If you really got to know if it’s raining, than open up your window
And let it all come in
Let that rain come in
Windows open and the fresh air is coming in
There’s a kid on my lap and a cat upon my feet
We’re just tying to cuddle up close
We’re never gonna shut that window
We’ll never shut our window
There is a wildfire with a hungry appetite
It’s licking up everything and it’s flexing it’s might
Air is thick, the sky is weird, they can no longer open their windows
I’ll open mine while I can
Open your windows while you still can
Windows open and the fresh air is coming in
There’s a kid on my lap and a cat upon my feet
We’re just trying to cuddle up close
We’re never gonna shut that window
We’ll never shut out window
There are some people outside screaming about some stuff
I don’t really want to hear what they’re saying, I’ve had enough
I could start shouting back.  I think I’ll turn up my music instead
Open up my windows, play it real loud
Open up my windows
Windows open and the fresh air is coming in
There’s a kid on my lap and a cat upon my feet
We’re just trying to cuddle up close
We’re never gonna shut that window
We’ll never shut that window

This dark valley, this dark valley
This dark valley, I’m walking through
This dark valley, this dark valley
This dark valley, that I’m walking on through
Well, my pack is getting heavy 
It’s getting heavy when I’m walking through
This old pack of mine is getting heavy
It’s getting heavy while I’m walking through
Well, I lay down my old burdens
Yeah, I lay ‘em down and walk on through
Well, I lay down my old burdens
Yeah, I lay ‘em down, keep walking through
Now, I’m swimming in those still waters
I’m swimming then I walk on through
I’m swimming in those still waters
Yeah, I take a dip and walk on through
I’m rolling in green pastures
I roll along and walk on through
I’m rolling in green pastures
Now, I’m rolling my way through
This dark valley, this dark valley
This dark valley, I’m walking through
This dark valley, this dark valley
This dark valley, that I’m walking on through