When the visitors come from outer space Will they find anyone left of the human race Will we all be destroyed by an evil pandemic Because our fussing and fighting is so systemic Republicans versus Democrats, the virus doesn’t care Lock-downers versus opener-uppers, the virus doesn’t care The richest among us, they are holed up with their maids While the weak and the old wheeze away their last days Scratching and clawing, we want to control what we don’t know It’s got to be my way or the highway, I don’t want to end up alone Instead of the problem, we fight each other, it’s an enemy we understand I gotta have what’s mine and damn my fellow man When the visitors come from outer space Will they find anyone left in the human race
Well Judy Garland, she died on the toilet From an alleged drug overdose And Elvis, the king, he died on the toilet For him it was a heart attack Arius of Constantinople, he died on the toilet Ironically it was explosive diarrhea King Edmund II, he died on the toilet They stabbed him with a knife Wenceslaus III was also stabbed on the toilet Except they got that boy with a spear Catherine the Great, she died on the toilet Except for her it was a stroke That guy in Jurassic Park, he also died on the toilet For him it was the T-Rex When I die, there’s lots of places that I could be There’s at least one place I know I don’t want to be I don’t want to die sitting on the toilet When I die, die, die, die When I die, die, die, die Don’t want to die, sitting where I go I could die in my sleep When I’m a real old man I could die speeding down the road In a ‘79 Trans-Am I just don’t want to go While I’m sitting where I go I just don’t want to die Sitting on the throne When I die, die, die, die When I die, die, die, die Don’t want to die, sitting where I go I could die at your birthday party Choking on a piece of cake I could die from a snake bite A real live poisonous snake I just don’t want to go While I’m sitting where I go I just don’t want to die Sitting on the can When I die, die, die, die When I die, die, die, die Don’t want to die, sitting where I go When I die, die, die, die When I die, die, die, die Don’t want to die, sitting where I go I could die tortured and flayed By a psychopath on the loose I could die, trampled By a heard of angry moose I just don’t want to go While I’m sitting where I go I just don’t want to die Sitting on the john When I die, die, die, die When I die, die, die, die When I die, die, die, die When I die, die, die, die Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
It’s Friday night, I’m on the hooch again I promised myself I’d stay sober today I put on my cleanest shirt and I comb my hair I’m headed out for a couple of beers It’s a dollar in the old jukebox Something to occupy my time There’s an old whiskey bottle over the fridge That I keep my Jesus in When I’m feeling bad or down on my luck I take a big swig and swallow him up This is my saving grace It holds me tight When Jesus walked here on Earth He turned water into wine I bet he was, he was a hell of a wine maker If he was here, I’d cry him a bucket of tears Like in the Bible, I perform a miracle It’s a miracle I got up today at all There’s an old whiskey bottle over the fridge That I keep my Jesus in When I’m feeling bad or down on my luck I take a big swig and swallow him up This is my saving grace It holds my tight I’m tired of looking through blood shot windows And trying to cut through the haze You can throw me out, throw me out with the old bath water I ain’t no good to anyone anymore Someday, I’ll smash that bottle And set my savior free
On the day I was born Wiped the blood from my brow Shook that doctor’s hand Wah, wah, wah I made a deal Living ain’t cheap But it’s all smooth sailing Now, now, now I crossed on over From the other side Kicked up my heels Ha, ha, ha Wake up in the morning And I rub my eyes Stretch real big And whistle at the sky Wake up in the morning And I rub my eyes Stretch real big And whistle at the sky On the day you were born I wiped the blood from your brow Shook the doctor’s hand Wah, wah, wah The birth canal Passes right through The valley of the shadow of Me, oh, my To get here, kid You had to break some rules Breathe real deep Huh, huh, huh Wake up in the morning And you rub your eyes Stretch real big And whistle at the sky Wake up in the morning And you rub your eyes Stretch real big And whistle at the sky On the day we were born We all cheated death Shake the reaper’s hand Ha, ha, ha
Call it what you will Knowing for sure or just being scared I’ve been through it all I’m out of excuses I guess it’s time I can see in you You believe in me Loyalty is everything I know I’ll be loyal I want to spend my life Learning how to make you happy I want to spend my life Just holding you Only one thing left to do All I know is what my heart desires My heart desires you All I want is you Will you
Turn off the television, it’s all bad news It’s just your local weather report and other half truths If you really got to know if it’s raining, than open up your window And let it all come in Let that rain come in Windows open and the fresh air is coming in There’s a kid on my lap and a cat upon my feet We’re just tying to cuddle up close We’re never gonna shut that window We’ll never shut our window There is a wildfire with a hungry appetite It’s licking up everything and it’s flexing it’s might Air is thick, the sky is weird, they can no longer open their windows I’ll open mine while I can Open your windows while you still can Windows open and the fresh air is coming in There’s a kid on my lap and a cat upon my feet We’re just trying to cuddle up close We’re never gonna shut that window We’ll never shut out window There are some people outside screaming about some stuff I don’t really want to hear what they’re saying, I’ve had enough I could start shouting back. I think I’ll turn up my music instead Open up my windows, play it real loud Open up my windows Windows open and the fresh air is coming in There’s a kid on my lap and a cat upon my feet We’re just trying to cuddle up close We’re never gonna shut that window We’ll never shut that window
This dark valley, this dark valley This dark valley, I’m walking through This dark valley, this dark valley This dark valley, that I’m walking on through Well, my pack is getting heavy It’s getting heavy when I’m walking through This old pack of mine is getting heavy It’s getting heavy while I’m walking through Well, I lay down my old burdens Yeah, I lay ‘em down and walk on through Well, I lay down my old burdens Yeah, I lay ‘em down, keep walking through Now, I’m swimming in those still waters I’m swimming then I walk on through I’m swimming in those still waters Yeah, I take a dip and walk on through I’m rolling in green pastures I roll along and walk on through I’m rolling in green pastures Now, I’m rolling my way through This dark valley, this dark valley This dark valley, I’m walking through This dark valley, this dark valley This dark valley, that I’m walking on through
