Sitting on a bar stool, in this smoky haze Got a gin and tonic to clear my mind Sitting here thinking about the return of Jesus Christ And the way it’s all gonna end I ain’t no bible scholar but I read a page or two He was here once, guess he’s coming back soon Will it be a big, big bang or soft and gentle Like the summertime rain on the old porch roof Will I even notice, will I run outside to see Jesus coming down through the clouds He lifts me up, I’m flying high Looking down on all you left below When the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there (Judgement verse 2) When we all get to heaven What a day of rejoicing that will be We’ll all be in paradise, but some of us more so than others There’s a special place set up for the privileged Body and blood of Christ, this holy meal Well, it turns into a big fatty steak with 25 year old scotch Well, up there you have all them TV preachers who sent us to hell Republican politicians will be there and maybe 2 or 3 lucky democrats Super rich guys will be there with their super skinny wives And the guys who were the stars of my high school Well, I’ll be in there somewhere but I got to work harder than you Make sure my appetites don’t get the best of me When the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there (Revised and updated verse 2) When we all get to heaven What a day of rejoicing that will be We’ll all be in paradise, but some of us more so than others There’s a special place set up for the privileged Up there will be the TV preachers who sent us to hell And all of the politicians that play for the right team There will be all the people that cheated their way in They purchased their golden ticket with a little charitable donation All of those VIP’s will be real surprised when they look around See all of us oddballs and weird folk I’ll be in there somewhere but I got to work real hard Make sure my appetites don’t get the best of me When the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there Well, I’ll be there with my hobo brothers And all my dirty derelict friends I haven’t always been real good, but I tried just the best that I could This stuff doesn’t come easy We’ll be sitting around feasting, we’ll be praising the Lord the best we know how Like the Bible says, blessed are the poor Blessed are the weak, blessed are the humble Blessed are the kicked around and beat up Blessed are the spit upon and blessed are the drunk, the dirty, the worthless And blessed are the lonely We’ll be there singing our drunken hobo praises We’ll be happy just to be somewhere other than here When the roll is called up yonder, I’ll be there
