Taking a Break

I can be a little obsessive regarding the minute details of life.  I have a habit tracker app that I use to monitor certain lifestyle choices that I want to tweak.  I use another app to keep track of when I eat during the day.  Daily fasting is really important.  I never count calories, that would be crazy.  I have another app that I use to monitor my sleep.  It’s nothing invasive, just turn it on and place the phone next to me when I go to bed.  It tells me how long I slept and how deeply and how much I snore.  Recently, I got burnt out on keeping track of everything.  It was making me crazy, so I stopped all of it.  Living free.  A couple days later, I realized I was totally exhausted.  It was newborn in the house level exhaustion and I didn’t know what was wrong.  I was going to bed at the same time, and getting up at the same time.  Nothing was different.  The problem was the missing sleep data.  There is something reassuring about waking up to the knowledge that you were in bed for 7 hours.  It gives a percentage grade based on how well you slept. Using this tool lets me know when I am succeeding with sleep.  When I started using it again, I miraculously felt better.  It’s a mind trick.  The data convinces me that everything is good and subsequently, I feel great.  

Data can be difficult.  I have been doing a show on Facebook in the mornings.  When I started doing the show, I would really pay attention to the number of views each show got and it felt really important.  If you are going to put on a show, you want people to watch and enjoy it.  You want it to serve a purpose.  I don’t look at the numbers anymore.  I didn’t start doing the show for the purpose of “growing an audience.”  It doesn’t matter how many people are watching. I want any single individual who watches to enjoy what we are doing.  I am not everyone’s cup of tea.  I am not most people’s cup of tea.  But, some people love what we are serving.  In case you were wondering, it is coffee.  

I recently took a break from doing the show.  Don’t worry, I am not quitting.  I just needed a break.  I had gotten to a point where doing the show was like that sleep app.  Because I was getting up and doing something, I had convinced myself that I was doing enough.  I am learning so much from doing the show.  But I can’t allow it to trick me into thinking that the show is enough.  There is so much more I want to be doing.  It’s hard to make the time for everything.  It’s even harder to make the time, when you are convinced that what you have already achieved in a given day is all you need to be doing.  I think the most important thing in life is showing up every single day.  I started the show with the intention of holding myself accountable to daily work.  Maybe it is not the only daily work I should be doing.  Maybe showing up everyday can mean different things.  Doing a daily show is a great tool for improving my performance skills and for learning new songs.  The show is important but now I need some additional tools to help me stay focused on all the many other things I want to be doing.  

In rereading this, it might all sound like I am contradicting myself.  The sleep app is a great tool to tell me how well I slept.  It is a great gauge to help control one specific aspect of life.  Doing a daily show is a great gauge for some of my daily work.  It doesn’t gauge all of my work.  When you are doing anything, you have to have a gauge that provides some feedback.  It is imperative that the gauge be measured daily.  If the gauge is reading “good,” it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be pushing for “great.”  You get the idea.  Thanks for being a part of what we are trying to accomplish.  Thanks for being part of the small circle of people that are holding me accountable to daily work and to getting better at my craft.  Thanks for steering this ship in the right direction.