I have arrived at the stage in life when I can’t get up from the floor (or tie my shoes) without making a particular noise. I can remember Grandpap making the same noise. It’s a loud exhale mixed with a grunt. It’s similar to the sound made by Olympic weight lifters. The difference is that they are lifting thousands of kilos and I am doing my best to stand up without looking like a beached whale. Last night I was on the floor playing with my six-year-old daughter before bedtime. I stood up and made the customary standing-up noise. She asked if I was alright. I said, “I’m fine just getting old. Try not to ever become old, kiddo.” “I try really hard Pops but I can’t stop it.” I hope medical technology finds a way to eliminate old man noises by the time my kids are old enough to make them.