Where I Go

Well Judy Garland, she died on the toilet
From an alleged drug overdose
And Elvis, the king, he died on the toilet
For him it was a heart attack
Arius of Constantinople, he died on the toilet
Ironically it was explosive diarrhea 
King Edmund II, he died on the toilet
They stabbed him with a knife
Wenceslaus III was also stabbed on the toilet
Except they got that boy with a spear
Catherine the Great, she died on the toilet 
Except for her it was a stroke
That guy in Jurassic Park, he also died on the toilet
For him it was the T-Rex
When I die, there’s lots of places that I could be
There’s at least one place I know I don’t want to be
I don’t want to die sitting on the toilet
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
I could die in my sleep 
When I’m a real old man
I could die speeding down the road
In a ‘79 Trans-Am
I just don’t want to go
While I’m sitting where I go
I just don’t want to die
Sitting on the throne
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
I could die at your birthday party
Choking on a piece of cake
I could die from a snake bite
A real live poisonous snake
I just don’t want to go
While I’m sitting where I go
I just don’t want to die
Sitting on the can
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 
I could die tortured and flayed
By a psychopath on the loose
I could die, trampled
By a heard of angry moose
I just don’t want to go
While I’m sitting where I go
I just don’t want to die
Sitting on the john
 
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
When I die, die, die, die
Don’t want to die, sitting where I go
 

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